It’s very easy for one to withdraw from the world when things aren’t going according to plans.
We all have our ways of coping. Things do happen in life that may be out of our control. One may have spent a great deal of time preparing to accomplish a task, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will work out. That’s how it goes sometimes. When those times that go awry do show up, how we deal with it?
Do I have a unique way of coping with disappointments? Do I have a default mode to handle set backs? When I find myself in that space, for how long do I dwell on that space for?
A few moments ago, I found myself sipping into that space, and I decided to take a seat and capture it. This is what has given birth to this write up.
Let me put it out there. I don’t do mood swings. That’s not me. I can identify whichever mood I am in and handle it. When I am in a happier mood, I know. I also know the things to do to catapult me into a mood that will place me on top of the world. And when I am getting into a dark space which ultimately produces bad moods, I am also aware of it. The point is, it’s very important to be aware of these moods. And most importantly to do everything possible to get out of the dark mood and stay as long as possible in the good mood. We cannot live by chance.
We are living in a period of global uncertainty. Some people that I have interacted with are scared silly. They take everything personal as if it’s only unique to them. Who am I to criticise or judge. So, I don’t. That is how they have chosen to interpret the circumstances that surround them.
Some other people go about their lives as if nothing can get to them, however, things aren’t what they project. They too are scared. The only difference is how they have chosen to deflate the spotlight of their anxiety onto other things.
At the same time, there are some people who bury their heads in work. They shy away from talking about the outside world as much as possible. All they think of is work, work and work.
Guess what, some drown their worries by drinking or partying. That is how they are able to suppress their anxieties. They have chosen to occupy that space of uncertainty with booze.
How about peoples that pray. Yep! This is how they cope. These people are believers in the Almighty creator and have chosen to believe in, say Jesus, who they believed died on the cross for all their sins and for uncertain periods such as we are currently not enjoying. They, for want of a better phrase, pass the buck to Jesus. “You handle it because that is what you promised all those that believe in you.” And that settles it for them. Peace embraces them.
However way you choose to manage anxiety is personal. It’s important, though, to recognise you are not alone with anxiety. It happens to us all. We cope differently. That’s it. We really do cope differently.
It is for these reasons that I have trained myself, and continue to train myself, never to take anything personal. Most importantly, I believe is also mandatory, that’s my perspective anyway, for all to be weary of what we consume.
Consume, in the sense of not necessarily what we drink or eat literally, but what we read and watch. In the era of social media, the negativity has not only been exaggerated, but exacerbated.
This is also the time to be SELFISH. Time to be choosy. Time to be more disciplined with the smartphone. The value of discipline is important. You have to know why you do things rather than become a drifter. Whatever I read must increase me and nothing else. It must add to me. It must add to my knowledge. It must uplift me.
I cannot afford to open any video sent to me via WhatsApp unsure of the level of gory it will throw at me. I just can’t. Even jokes. What constitutes a joke? A joke capable of sending me into a mood. This may come across as been too strict, but in my opinion, it is the only way to exercise some level of control. Some level of discipline.
Moods do not just wonder around, looking for who to arrest. Most of the times, they are self inflicted. You could say these moods are kickstarted from an association, from a mere thought, a joke, from social media or even an innocent response by loved ones. These are how moods are manufactured unbeknownst to us.
Let me let you in on an opened secret. Next time you see that happy smiley friendly face, that person also has something she or he is going through. What am I trying to say. That you are not alone in feeling heavy hearted. The smiley face has probably found a better way of coping.
SOCIAL MEDIA
Another thing! How you deal with social media and how often you watch or listen to the news will go a long way in influencing how you cope with life. As mad as it sounds, it’s true. We are living in an era of smartphones and social media where everyone and anyone can spill their guts out on anything. And we have all become casual consumers.
Mental health is real. It may not have been evident and as pronounced as it is today, this is not to suggest it was never in existence. Not at all. It’s always been with us. What was not around were the devices that enabled this illness.
A person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being is what I am alluding to. This is mental health. Social media brings about such immense amount of pressure that invisibly affects mental health.
Here is how the popular and successful podcaster Joe Rogan describes Twitter, one of the most influential social media platforms there is today. He described Twitter as a place where monkeys throw things at each other. “The recreational outrage that comes out of Twitter is one of the most addictive things that people take part in. Now I don’t go on it at all. I think it’s too poisoned. I see what it does to people. It’s become some strange way to expose their mental health.” Those are Joe’s views.
While Chris Best, co-founder of Substack says the way to win on Twitter is to be bad. That’s what he thinks. He thinks people have to be outrageous to be noticed. (Can you just imagine that?)
All I am saying is this - don’t feel sorry for yourself. I’ll suggest you do whatever it takes to feel good. Do whatever it takes to make you happy without making someone else sad. Remember you are in control. Do not relinquish that power. Do not live a precarious lifestyle. Don’t depend on anyone else to make you feel good. Please don’t.
Don’t feel sorry for yourself. I am not.
Mental health is real. We need to pay greater attention to it....before it pays attention to us. Thanks for sharing
Interesting take, mental health is important. It’s a power read
Thank you for this post